The answer?  Just Juan.  Yeah, I know it isn't really funny.  Kinda lame actually, but after one too many drinks at Al Hraboskys Sports bar on Friday and watching Beth plant a kiss on the cheek of Cardinal outfielder Juan Encarnacion we all thought it was hilarious.  We thought it was even funnier that she felt compelled to tell Ronnie Belliard, another Cardinal, that you don't really need your pinky to play baseball.  He has just hurt his hand in the game and was obviously in no mood to deal with tipsy girls.  We left shortly after that...well, at least I think we did.

You see, the Cubs are in town.  St. Louis is all a flurry with the rival team here and with their fans who come and perch on our barstools and drink our Anheiser Busch products.  They walk down the streets in groups and wear their blue and white jerseys with pride and arrogance. How dare they.  You have never seen smack talking until you see a drunken Cards fan lash out a drunken Cubs fan.  There is no love.  There is no respect.  There is no sportsmanship. Hand gestures and verbal jabs have led to more than one bar room brawl.  It doesn't help that we have won the last two games either.  We're getting cocky and loving it. We are floating on cloud nine right up to baseball heaven despite the fact that this season the good old Red Birds haven't been doing so hot.  All that has been forgotten thanks to the recent wins over Chicago's pride and joy this weekend.  We're sending you boys home and if you don't come back for a long, long time that is ok with us.  However, while you are here, we will take the opportunity to drink too much beer, give too many high fives to our fellow fans, and talk too much shit about you.

Which desribes my Friday night to the T.  My friend Laila used to be a Cardinal Girl and she rented out the loft at Al Hrabosky's sports bar so we could watch the game from the lap of luxury.  Only VIP's are allowed upstairs and yes, thanks to Laila we were all VIPS's for the night.  It was great!  Food and drinks were free and yes, we took full advantage. We danced and laughed and when the game was over we gloated over our victory.  We congratulated the Cardinals as they came up the stairs and gathered around the small bar to relax.  The only reason I reluctantly dragged myself and my girlfriends out of the crowded bar at midnight was because I had to wake up really early and go buy my books for fall courses...oh yeah, and I had to meet my brother in law, my sister and our friend Dave at 10:30 the next morning.  We had tickets to the game!  Whoo-hoo!  It doesn't get any better than the promise of a cold beer, a paper boat of cheese and jalapeno laden nachos, and watching the Cards kick the crap out of the Cubs.  I drug myslef out of bed the next morning and took a couple aspirin to subdue my pounding headache. I showered and pulled my hair up in a ponytail and threw on my jersey.  I felt like crap but I figured after a few beers I would forget all about the nasty headache I had and could ignore the feeling like I could vomit at any second.  Hair of the dog I kept telling myself...hair of the dog. I was running late and felt rushed and hungover. My cell phone rang and as I looked around the living room for my keys I was tempted to ignore it.  It was Fatty, my brother in law calling and I still had so much to do. What could he possible need?  I was meeting him in an hour.  Hello? Ooooh, you are gonna be mad.  I got the dates mixed up on our tickets and they were for lastnights game.  We aren't going today.  We will just have to go to a bar and watch it there...yeah we are still coming to your side of the river.

Whatever, Fatty.  Nice try.

I have been fooled by my brother in law one too many times for this crap.  He loves to make me the butt of his jokes and on my drive to school he called a few more times, each time the lie getting more elaborate.  I was not giving in, he was good though and if I don't know any better I might believe him.  However, I was not about to fall for this prank of pranks and look like a total fool.  The moment I acted disappointed or said I believed him would be followed by him telling me what an idiot I was, handing me my ticket, and cackling his way all the way to our seats. If he had really mixed up the ticket dates he would have been much more upset.  When I was done buying my books and finally headed to meet them by the staduim my excitement grew.  I was feeling alot better and I could smell the hotdogs from the highway and see red jerseys filling the streets.  God I love baseball.  People were lined up at the ticket windows and I wondered out loud to myself if the rain would hold off long enough for us to play.  As I pulled up next to their car my heart sank.  Nate and Mandy were in regular clothes...no Cards gear.  This could only mean one thing: He wasn't lying. Oh my God, we really weren't going were we?  You weren't lying and you really messed up the tickets! YOU IDIOT!

So instead of watching the game from $50 seats and drinking $8 beers we decided to make the best of the situation and have our own little bar crawl.  We gathered around the big screens and drank one beer at each place in hopes of drowning our sorrows. I don't know how many bars we went too or how many beers I  drank but I do know that it wasn't enough. Eventhough I did end up having a great day I'm still sad about missing the game. My poor brother in law will be hearing about this for the rest of his life.  He made a mistake and I guess I have to forgive him...all I have to say is he's lucky he's not a Cubs fan.