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9月8日 Where the Wild Things AreFor the past few months there has been a monster living under my bed. At night right before I would doze off she would whisper quietly into my ear that I am not as funny, pretty, or smart as she was. She would lurk in my thoughts all day long and has made me doubt everything about myself. Because of her I have had many sleep deprived nights, some not-so-healthy weightloss, and some serious dates with top shelf vodka. Then four days ago, out of the blue, my monster decided to email me. Well, technically, she decided to email me back.
When I first mustered up the courage to email her I was fueled by a broken heart and the knowledge that the man I trusted had turned out to be nothing but a liar. I was sure she would respond right away and I was ready for whatever she had to bring to the table. This was good verses evil and I had faith in the good guy...or girl in this situation. I was about to make contact with "the other woman" and I was scared to death. I felt sick to my stomach, my palms were sweaty, and my mouth felt like a desert. I hovered over the computer all day waiting for her reply. I could not wait to let her know what I thought of her. I wanted to tear into her and hurt her as badly as she hurt me. I wanted revenge but deep down all I wanted was answers. I wanted to know that I had been lied to and that all the moments of wonder I had were not in vain. I wanted to be able to walk away from this with no what if's. What if I was wrong. What if he was telling the truth. What if he really isn't such a bad guy.
Then something strange happened. She never emailed me back. I checked my inbox everyday for about a week and everyday there was no reply from the Monster. Slowly the unanswered questions didn't weigh so heavily on my heart. The tears quit falling as much and I started to get back on my feet. I put the vodka back in the freezer and had all but forgotten about her until Tuesday afternoon when I got her response. It was month later than I had expected and it floored me. I felt sick to my stomach as I read through it the first time. I read in again slower than the first rying to grasp everything she was saying me. By the third time I read it I almost had it memorized. My fingers flew over the keyboard as I wrote her back. I read my reply over five times before I finally sent it. I waited and this time her reply came much quicker than the last one.
For the past few days we have been emailing back and forth not only about the man who lied to us and broke both of our hearts but also about how much better off we are without him. Our identical stories seem to be giving eachother exactly what we needed to begin feeling better about ourselves and makes walking away from him very easy. They always say never to judge someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes...Well, not only have I walked in her shoes but we have been traveling down the same road, side by side, and didn't even know it.
Since our first contact with eachother I have realized she's not so bad afterall. She is a regular girl just like me who has had the same doubts and fears I have had and who has been living with her own monsters. Through this terrible situation we have become, for lack of a better word, friends. From these emails we have both realized that sometimes you really are sleeping with the wolf in sheeps clothing. Sometimes in takes the enemy to show you exactly how strong and beautiful you really are...and sometimes, when you finally do face your fear, you realize you never really had anything to fear at all. 评论 (17)
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